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Recap 30
Hey losers NIGHT 30! Thirty nights of this shit. Holy moley Ok. So I have put this off cuz of all the other BS I have going on and I have passed the point of membering much of what happened. Usually I can piece it together pretty well but I am drawing blanks like a mo fo. Also I think I was a better DM when I was drinking a bunch so I am planning on pregamming for this weeks night so that I can be half in the bag at the start and then get progressivily worse as the night goes on. I remember some of the big stuff, and I member how much everyone loved the great puzzles (Dan). SO as always fill in the points I missed. Another item of discussion that needs to be addressed is the recent MIA status of ROLEN. I think we should address this in game, maybe after you get out of this weird building made of light. Either way let’s get this recap going……. The night begins in the basement of RONS bar as the three of you cower under the floorboards. There was never any intention of staying and fighting and you took RONS word when he told you that the BLINDERS are too powerful to take on when they are together but you may be able to pick them off (no not jerk them off even though I am sure you will try it, hey maybe that’s how they became BLINDERS?!?!?!?!?). As you sit in the basement looking up you hear the door open with a loud burst. The room is bathed in very bright light and RON vocally groans at the presence of these three BLINDERS. “WHERE ARE THEY, we know they are near.” The BLINDERS are looking for the 4 who destroyed Xavier City, and they are serious about it. RON says he has no idea what the fuck they are talking about in a very ANN FRANK in the attic scene. It’s at that moment when the crew realizes they have made a huge mistake. Their cart is sitting outside with the screw arm relic inside. Shit. Yall might have well just put pictures of yourself on the cart with your address and home phone number plus a link to your Instagram cuz this cart is like a calling card to kill all calling cards. It’s made of fucking FUGAZI stone dudes. The realization of this came at the same time for all of the adventures hiding under the floor of RONS bar and it was a beautiful SHIT THE BED moment. It’s almost like you all craped your pants at the prom at the same time and realized you will have to sit in it through the whole rest of the night. IT was awesome. The BLINDERS don’t fuck around and they start to torture RON all set to the soundtrack of “STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU”. To his credit he doesn’t say shit. RON is fucking solid as balls and didn’t give you up. He has been tortured before and tied up for god knows how long but this dude hasn’t said shit to the BLINDERS about you. Apparently your worth saving (although I am sure there are a number of people you have met so far that would disagree….ROSE AND GENE, the mirror man you tried to rape, the blind man who you de-toothed and fed shit to, the little dying garbage child who you stole hot pants from……so many people.) The BLINDERS then say “If you won’t tell us where they are we will make them come to us”. They cut out RONS tongue and it falls through the floor boards and onto the dirt at your feet. ALDANNIS picks up the forked dragon tongue up as if it was free weed (ALDANNIS has so much random shit in his bag. I think he still has the matches from the first night Dan if you can get me a list of all the rando shit you have in your bag it would be great. I’ll make a puzzle for you around that idea. The BLINDERS take RON and the FUGAZI STONE CART and hit the road. You hesitantly leave your hiding place and look around for some clues or something. You find a bottle of 500 proof spirit which was RONS special shit. DICKTOES takes the jewels and now has 4 bars of gold, 4 rubys, 4 diamonds, and 4 topaz (what the fuck is ya gonna do with TOPAZ?) The crew decides to leave and follow the BLINDERS. As they leave the bar it is hot as shit outside, mid-day. They look around and very obviously see the tracks from the FUGAZI stone cart leading out of PACHELLI VILLAGE and to the west toward the river. The crew looks around for any signs of life even asking to go to the LIBRARY but it burned down so the only thing they see is the old blind man and his son. They both needed some food and you were kind enough not to shit in their mouths but rather give them some jerky. The blind man pulls ALDANNIS close and whispers into his ear and gives him something. WHY IS IT that you fuckers don’t ever talk to each other about what is going on. SERIOUSLY it would have helped if you would have said “WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT”. Dan could say none of your beeswax or he could be like he gave me an EYE. It would have solved the puzzle in like a minuet. I am not sure why 4 people who have been through the worst things possible together barely talk to each other about shit, you guys will talk for hours about how to go in a river but you never really check in with each other to see what the fuck is going on. SORRY that was a side note. You follow the tracks toward the river and have a very long conversation about whether or not you are going to jump in, float down, use a reed snorkel, etc. Someone actually has the bright idea to check and see if there is something in the water or if the water is made of poison zombie piss or something. You see a huge river monster that is so big it takes up the whole of the river. Good thing you didn’t go for a swim. That battle was gonna be awesome cuz you would all be at triple disadvantage if you stayed in the water. You arrive at a very strange structure made of light. Each of the buildings (3) get larger in sequence starting with a small cottage whose entrance is a wooden door. Besides checking to see if there cart is even here (you never checked the tracks once you saw the buildings) you go so out of character norms by blasting through the wooden door. Inside you find two sleeping bug bears chained to the wall. On the far end is a metal door. DICKTOES sneaks past the sleeping bugbears as do the rest of you and you go through the metal door. . Inside you find two sleeping bug bears chained to the wall. On the far end is a metal door. You wake the bug bears and fight them. They go down easy and you go through the metal door. . Inside you find two sleeping bug bears chained to the wall. On the far end is a metal door. THIS is where the wheels fall off as you fuckers keep going through the metal door or opening both doors to see if you can see each other and then ULRICH is going crazy trying to say that the metal door is a wooden door cuz it’s a half metal and half wood door. Finally you solve the puzzle and exit through the entrance. You now find yourselves in a small stone room with faces on the wall and a chest on the floor. The faces end up saying THE ANSWER IS IN FIG. F. I. G. F. EYE. G. After trying to glory hole a few of the faces old ally d puts HADRONS eye in the chest. The BLINDERS mask comes to the ground and then comes alive and you all get your fight on. It’s a rough battle and damage is dealt all over. The BLINDER rolled very shitty and had his hands stuck to the wall for a good portion of the battle but he did some damage as well. In the end you may need some healing before moving forward but you survive. The BLINDER is on his last few breaths as you unmask him. His face has no eyes, nose, or mouth. No one asks a question, no one even fucking thinks about it. But ALDANNIS in his newly found action heroness and his awesome rolling throughout the night gave him the big old salty balls to say “YOUR FUTURE ISN”T LOOKING SO BRIGHT ANYJMORE” and he thwaps an arrow right in the middle of this things face. Before the BLINDER dies he says “I would have told you sooooo much USUEFUL information, like why we wanted to have you follow us here and why we are looking for you and who we are and what our overall deal is….” He dies. This is where you are gents. Hope to see yall tomorrow. I understand if you can’t make it cuz new years and shit. I have a puzzle that might be kind of hard to do but I think I can do it with facetime and skype cuz yall gonna have to split up. We will see. LOVE YOU- -back to Recaps